Timed to the 22nd

[takecourage]

Alex is in a shitty, shitty mood. She has been for days, since the first argument with Darlington but now, after the conversation that they'd had in his apartment, the things that both of them had said, she's just fucking furious. She's not down to work tonight and she just needs to get out of her own head so she picks up her phone and texts Caleb.

want to hang out? xA

While she's waiting for him to respond, she gets in the shower and washes her hair, tries to scald the irritation out of her with hot water.

It's not entirely successful.

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[takecourage]

"It was good," she says, curling up with her cup of tea at one of the sofa, waiting for Caleb to settle himself. "It was really good, but then he got...a bit weird, and distant? And then it all really went to shit when he found out where I'm working."

[greatamazingfeelingsboy]

"Oh." He follows her over to the couch and sits, careful not to slosh his tea. Without knowing Darlington, without feeling his feelings, Caleb isn't sure he can really help, but maybe Alex just needs someone to talk to about it, and not someone to actually do something about it.

"Like, the way you thought I'd judge you for it? Or, like, worse?"

[takecourage]

"Way, way worse," says Alex, rolling her eyes a little bit, shuffling down in the sofa until she can shield herself behind her tea. "I was worried you were a kid. He's just being an asshole about it."

[greatamazingfeelingsboy]

He rolls his eyes. "I'm not a kid. I'm almost eighteen." He shifts a little so he's leaning against the opposite arm, facing her with one socked foot on the sofa. "Do you know why he's being an asshole?"

[takecourage]

"I think he's jealous," she says, rubbing one hand over her face, suddenly tired. "I know he's jealous. I think he thinks i'm fucking guys in the backroom at the club. I got my tattoos back and he just assumed how it happened."

[greatamazingfeelingsboy]

"Wait, what?" Caleb asks. "I thought they were in moths! What the fuck, let me see!" He's not angry — he's excited. He can get to the rest of his questions in a minute.

[takecourage]

That makes Alex laugh which, shit, feels really good. She sets her tea down and sits forward to strip off her hoodie, down to her tank. Both arms are covered in black ink from shoulder to wrist - peonies, koi, the wheel from Hellie's tarot. A muddle. A snake curls against each clavicle,their tongues nearly meeting.

[greatamazingfeelingsboy]

"Holy shit, I had no idea you had so many," he says. He takes them in, fascinated and a little awed by the sheer amount of ink. "Did they hurt?"

[takecourage]

"Like hell," she says, and flashes a grin. "But it's a good kid of pain. It's...clean."

[greatamazingfeelingsboy]

"Clean," Caleb echoes. He'd never heard of pain described as clean or dirty before, but he thinks he understands, just the same. "So, wait," he says, rewinding a little. "What d'you mean, he assumed how you got them back?"

[takecourage]

"Be careful in the throes," she says, doing her best Impression of Darlington's accent. "Human saliva reverses the Address moth incantation. So when he saw I'd got them back, he assumed...."

[greatamazingfeelingsboy]

Caleb doesn't get it right away. He frowns, obviously trying to catch up, and it's clear when he does. He wrinkles his nose and leans back a little.

"Ew, wait, he thought you, what? You were fucking someone?"

[takecourage]

"He pretty much implied I'm taking guys into some private room at the club," she says, feeling fury flare up in her gut again, knowing Caleb will feel it too. "For bigger tips."

[greatamazingfeelingsboy]

The look on Caleb's face is one of disgust, but a righteous indignation rises up alongside Alex's fury.

"What the fuck, that's disgusting, why the fuck would he think that?" He doesn't ask Alex if that's what happened. He knows it's not. He can feel it, in the angry, bitter swirl of her emotions.

[takecourage]

"Because he's ashamed?" She says, rolling her shoulder in a shrug. "Because he's jealous? Because he really does think I'm a whore?"

[greatamazingfeelingsboy]

"Did he say that?" Caleb asks, voice darkening. "Did he fucking call you—" His free hand balls into a fist, like he could punch Darlington right now if he saw him. Alex is his friend, and Caleb's learned recently that there's a lot he'll do for a friend. If someone, even someone she cares about, is degrading her over a fucking job, he'll fucking murder them.

[takecourage]

"He didn't actually use the word," says Alex, watching her friend's reaction with quiet, dark eyes. She tries to physically calm herself so that Caleb will feel that she's okay. "But if was pretty clear what he thought of me."

[greatamazingfeelingsboy]

"What the fuck," he mumbles. He shakes his head. "Dude, Alex, that's not okay. What the fuck?" He doesn't know what else to say. He doesn't know how to make this okay, because it's not. He drinks his tea, cold now from being forgotten about this entire time. It does little to calm him.

"Fuck," he breathes, like he could just breathe the feelings out.

[takecourage]

"Hey," says Alex, leaning to put her cup down and then shuffling along the sofa so that she can sit closer to him, butting her shoulder against his. "Hey, I'm okay, okay? I've definitely been called worse."

[greatamazingfeelingsboy]

"You shouldn't have to be," he snaps, then takes a breath and feels his shoulders sag. "Fuck, I'm sorry. I'm not, I'm not trying to take it out on you."

[takecourage]

"I know you're not," says Alex, staying tucked in against his side. "It's got to suck. I'm sorry. I should have fucking thought before I asked you over."

[greatamazingfeelingsboy]

"No, no," he insists. "I'm glad you did. Nobody should fucking talk to you like that." He doesn't think much about her tucking against his side, and he doesn't think much about the way his arm wraps around her shoulders, protective, but also sort of needing that contact, too.

[takecourage]

It's the kind of touch that Alex hasn't had a whole lot of in her life. She had it with Hellie. She was getting there with Mercy. She'd had it in Darrow with Darlington before they blew it all apart. She closes her eyes and sinks into him for a moment.

"He was angry," she says. "He didn't mean it. He's not the kind of boy who means things like that. Even about girls like me."

[greatamazingfeelingsboy]

"What, girls like you, who're super cool and get into Yale?" he asks. "Or girls like you, who're wicked pretty and have tons of cool tattoos and look like they don't take anyone's shit?" His arm tightens a little, because he doesn't want her to think or feel badly about herself. She deserves better than that.

[takecourage]

"If you keep being that sweet I'm going to spontaneously develop diabetes or something," she says, but she's smiling when she says it and, when his arm tightens, she doesn't pull away. "I'm not that good a girl, Caleb. I've done...I was going to try to be someone new in Yale. I'm trying to be someone new in Darrow."