(no subject)

[takecourage]

It's been a weird few days. Pregnant doesn't honestly feel like not pregnant, really - she's been told that, for most women, the sickness and shit kicks in around week six, so she's got a few weeks to go. It's early days yet, and Alex knows that a lot could go wrong between now and the end, so she's trying not to think about it as a thing that's too permenant. With her belly still flat under her hoodie, it's easy enough to ignore.

When Hopper texts her to ask her how she is, she asks him over to Black Elm. He hasn't been out to the house yet, and Danny's at the museum all day, so it feels like a good time to catch up. The sun hits the back of the house just right at this time of the day, and there's a tonne of pleasant places to sit.

Honestly, she could do with the company.

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[something_incredible]

Hopper knows he's been distracted lately. With Eleven arriving in Darrow, he's had to make a couple changes, working with City Hall to have her legally shifted to his care, her birth certificate helping with that. But he also knows they don't have enough space anymore.

Two kids, a dog, and him. A two bedroom apartment just isn't cutting it anymore, so he's been looking at his finances, trying to work out what sort of down payment he has for a house and in about a week, they're going to start looking at places.

Having a coffee with Alex and just sitting down for a bit is a welcome break. Especially since he's never seen her place. Once he arrives and puts the car in park, he heads up to the door to knock.

[takecourage]

Alex knows that Black Elm can be kind of a lot the first time, especially if you don't know what you're expecting. She's got a fire going in the great room and coffee already brewing in the blue and white kitchen. She pads to the front door in sock-feet, all but buried in one of Danny's sweaters and opens the door.

"I know. Don't say it. This place is fucking ridiculous."

[something_incredible]

"This place is fucking ridiculous," Hopper says anyway, because he can't even begin to figure out how a person lives in a place like this. All he wants is to find a place with three bedrooms so he, El, and Beverly can all have their own space.

This place would house them ten times over, he thinks. And he'd never be able to keep track of it all.

[takecourage]

"Yeah, yeah, i know," says Alex, rolling her eyes and smiling. "You want the full tour, or coffee first?" She walks ahead of him, through the great room with it's wide leather couch and the fire, into the blue and white kitchen. "How're you doing, Hop?"

[something_incredible]

"Uh, whatever you wanna do," he answers, staring at the fire and the huge couch as he follows Alex into a kitchen. He's here because she asked him to be and he likes spending time with her either way, but he knows he's shit about reaching out. Especially lately, given how distracted he's been.

"Good," he says, tearing his gaze from the couch finally. "Shit, uh, yeah. Real good. My kid's here. From home."

[takecourage]

"Oh, fuck!" says Alex, turning around to face him, eyes wide and a huge grin on her face. "Hopper! That's fucking huge. I can't believe you didn't tell me that by text. Jesus."

[something_incredible]

"I still don't know how to use this thing have the time," he says, patting the pocket where he has his phone. "And it seems kinda... big, I guess. To be talking about over a text."

But he's smiling as he speaks. It's great, having Eleven here, seeing her get to know Beverly.

"We gotta look for a house," he says. "The three of us and the dog are too much for the apartment."

[takecourage]

"Still, I would have liked to know, dude." She starts to fix his coffee, knowing how he likes it without having to ask. She reaches for a cup for herself but, instead of coffee, fixes a green tea. "Yeah, I bet that's feeling pretty crowded. Danny, Kirby and I could go days without seeing each other in this fucking place."

[something_incredible]

"Yeah, you want a couple roommates?" he asks, mostly joking. "Me and the dog can stay at the apartment. You'd be getting the teenage girls, though. You might wanna think about that for awhile before answering."

He smiles his thanks when she hands him his coffee, then looks around the kitchen.

"I think this room is bigger than our whole apartment," he says.

[takecourage]

"He'll we've got the room for all of you," says Alex, snorting as she settles down with her cup of tea. "I don't know how many bedrooms this place actually has." She nudges him with one sock clad foot. "Could be worse, Hop. At least I'm not a teenager too."

[something_incredible]

She's young enough that sometimes he thinks she might as well be. Not that she acts like it, but he feels the difference in their years and she's closer to Beverly's age than she is his own by far.

"They're not that bad," he agrees. "I kinda like having 'em around, even if I didn't know what to do with one teen girl, never mind two of them."

[takecourage]

"You say that now," says Alex, blowing across the surface of her tea. She knows, though, that most teenage girls are easier to deal with than she was. She looks down at her cast wryly. "Don't think I'm going to be causing much trouble for a while."

[something_incredible]

"Yeah, that looks like it must've hurt," Hopper answers. "Lemme guess, another shitty customer?"

He likes that Alex can take care of herself. It makes him inclined to ask her to look out for Beverly and Eleven. They're both tough, too, in different ways, but they're still so damn young.

[takecourage]

"Not this time," she says, shaking her head. "My dumb ass slipped on a patch of ice and took a spill." She rolls her eyes at herself. "Doctor said that if I'd have a drink I'd have fallen relaxed and probably not have hurt myself, which just feels like the universe is an asshole."

[something_incredible]

"Can't be drunk all the time, I guess," Hopper answers and thinks that doctor kind of sounds like an asshole. Doctors shouldn't be saying shit like that, especially if they don't know someone's history. Hopper might've tried to be drunk all the time, but now that he's not, he sees a real problem with that sort of crap.

"Should've kept his mouth shut on his opinion on the matter," he comments.

[takecourage]

"Should have kept his mouth shut about a lot of things," says Alex, ruefully, setting her tea down on the table and turning the cup with fingers on the rim.

[something_incredible]

Hopper arches an eyebrow, looking at Alex. "You want me to ask what that means or are we keepin' things vague on purpose?"

He's got no idea what she means by that, but he figures not asking if she at least wants him to ask or not would be way too much of a dick move. And he cares. If there's something going on and she wants to tell him, then he wants to know.

[takecourage]

She knows that it's supposed to be a secret - that, until the end of the first trimester, it's convention not to tell people. But Hopper is close to family, like the other handful of people who know, and she doesn't think Danny would begrudge her.

"So we know you're okay at being a dad, Hop," she says, blowing across the surface of her tea again, more habit than any need to cool it. "How do you feel about Grandpa duties?"

[something_incredible]

For a second he thinks Alex knows something he does and he would swear his heart stops. He draws in a ragged, terrified breath, then everything sort of clicks into place and he lets out a rough laugh, sounding more shocked than amused.

"Jesus Christ, kid," he says. "I thought you meant Beverly at first."

He scrubs a hand down his face, trying to calm the thumping of his heart, then looks at Alex. "You do mean you, right?"

[takecourage]

"Oh, shit," she says, a surprised laugh hiccuping out of her, both her hands up. "Yes. God. I mean me."

[something_incredible]

"Shit," he says, then laughs. "Shit. Okay, so how're you feeling about this?"

He knows Alex isn't a kid the same way he knows Laura isn't a kid. When he treats them like they are, he knows they hate it, it's just that they're both so young. And they've both seen too much shit already. It makes him want to keep them from having to see anything else, even when he knows that isn't fair.

[takecourage]

"Better than I was?" says Alex, skimming one hand over her still flat belly. "I was fucking terrified, but Danny took it better than I was expecting, and now he's buying books and shit, so..." She shrugs. "I guess I'm figuring out how the hell to be someone's mom."

[something_incredible]

"You'll figure it out," Hopper says. He knows it sounds simplistic, saying it like that, but that's how everyone does it at the end of the day. Books are fine, but until you're in the thick of it, you really have no idea what the hell you're going to do.

"Just, uh... maybe go easy on the books," he suggests. "Read some stuff, but don't be too hard on yourself if nothing ends up being as perfect as some of those things say they should be. That's not really how it works."

[takecourage]

"You don't know Danny that well, so you don't know that there's no way that I can stop him reading every book that he can get his hands on." She sips her tea. "Honestly, I'm just scared it'll be a boy, and I'll have to talk him out of naming him Daniel Tabor the fucking fifth."

[something_incredible]

"The fifth," Hopper says in a dry voice. "Shit."

As for the books, he figures they can't really hurt, but it never turns out like the books says it will. He knows that first hand. Those first few months with Sara had been harder than he ever could have figured, first with her refusing to feed well, then with Diane hitting the postpartum blues, as her doctor had referred to them at the time. Hopper knows better now, but in the mid-seventies it had been different.

"Just... don't beat yourself up if the books make it seem like it's supposed to be one way and it isn't," he says. "Either of you."

[takecourage]

"Yeah. It's a whole thing. A really fucking stupid thing."

She nods at that, curling her hands around her tea cup again. "I was such a fucking shithead," she says. "And then there's..." She looks down at her wrist, the silver bangle sitting there. "I'm so fucking scared she's going to be like me."

[something_incredible]

"You know you're having a girl?" he asks.

That sort of thing comes later, he thought, but then again, it's been a really long time since he's been in a situation like this. Maybe technology has changed enough that people can find out really early on.

"And I think she'd be pretty damn lucky to be like you," he adds.

[takecourage]

"I don't know anything," she says, softly. "But I've been thinking about my grandma since I found out. Did you know that Judaism passes from mother to daughter?" She brushes her fingers back through her hair. "I just don't want them...whoever they are...to grow up afraid because they're like me."

[something_incredible]

"Guess that's why you're here to teach 'em," he says. "I mean, shit, kid, you can't stop 'em from being afraid. That's... part of the package. A shitty part, but still a part. All you can do is just make sure you're the safe space they need."

He had been that for Sara. With Eleven, he had failed more than he wants to think on, but he's going to do better now. He has to. He's been better for Beverly.

[takecourage]

Sometimes, Alex thinks about that - how Mira must have so desperately wanted to make it better, how Alex left her with no choices in the end. But Alex won't be on her own doing it, will she? Alex will have Danny.

She fiddles with the bracelet on her wrist. "I'm going to do my best."

[something_incredible]

"Yeah, of course you are," he says. "And you're not alone. You got Danny, though I suggest you get veto rights for the naming process in writing. You got your friends and you got me."

He smiles a little and shrugs. "Helps that you're not stupid either. You'll figure it out."