(no subject)

[takecourage]

She really doesn't know why they bother having two apartments at all, not when they're both much happier when they're in the same one. They cook together, they eat together, they sprawl on one sofa watching movies. They took the time to ward both places, with Bramford being as deeply haunted as it as. Riddled with grays. Alex feels them wash over her the minute she steps into the hallway but, in either of the apartments, she trusts him to keep her safe.

"What are you even doing?" she asks.

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[takecourage]

He fingers graze against his again and, this time, Alex has to ignore a jolt between her thighs so intense it almost makes her shiver. She takes a swallow of her wine and the sets her glass room, stripping her sweater off over her head.

"It's hot in here."

[more_magic]

He's only just sat down when she murmurs that complaint, and Darlington nearly gets up once again to adjust the thermostat--because it is warm, suddenly, the heat somehow kicked into high gear all at once. Before he can, she's peeling off that sweater, the thin tank top she's wearing underneath clinging to the knit for a moment, exposing the flat skin of her belly before it falls back into place.

He notices. Of course he notices, sitting there with his wine still in hand and trying not to stare. He doesn't even have the time to look away.

"Better, Alex?"

[takecourage]

And, yeah, she catches that look. Men have looked at her before like that but she finds that she doesn't mind at all when it's Darlington. When it's Danny.

"You could take a picture," she says, picking up her glass. "It'd totally last longer."

[more_magic]

"Sorry," he says, and he can feel himself start to blush. Finally, he manages to look away, down at the surface of the wine in his glass like it'll tell him something he doesn't already know.

[takecourage]

She pauses for a moment, weighing it up, mulling it over and then she reaches out and gently touches his jaw with her fingertips.

"I didn't say it wasn't okay."

[more_magic]

To say he'd been expecting this at all would be as much of a lie as saying he hadn't considered it, even a little. His jaw tenses, then relaxes, beneath the soft touch of her fingers. He takes one breath, then another, then lifts his eyes back up to meet hers. For a moment, they look almost as fathomless and dark as they had on Halloween.

"Is that because it is?"

[takecourage]

God, that look on his face. For a moment, all she can do is stare at him. Maybe it's the wine, but she finds herself nodding.

"It's okay," she says, softly. "I...like it. When you look at me like that."

[more_magic]

The nod of her head is slow and careful, but the sight of it fills him with a relief so bright it practically shines out of him. "I'd stop, if you asked," he says, because it's important to him to make that clear. After everything he knows about her, because of everything, he wants to make that clear. "But if you don't want me to stop, I won't."

There's something fumbling and ineloquent about that, shades of the kind of teenage awkwardness he'd tried hard to leave behind. But beneath it, there's nothing but truth.

[takecourage]

That just makes her want to fuck his brains out, honestly. But she also knows that she needs to do this differently. That, maybe, they both deserve that. She takes another swallow of her wine and then set down her glass.

"What else, Danny?" She says, gently. "What else would you do if I said I was okay with it?"

[more_magic]

He watches her as she takes that drink, the column of her throat as she swallows, his eyes tracking her as she leans to the side and sets down her glass. She's beautiful. She's always been beautiful to him.

"Since you ask," he says, his voice hushed even though there's no need for it, even though they're the only two in the room, "I'd probably kiss you."

[takecourage]

Alex laughs at that, a short, joyful burst of sound. "Smooth, Darlington," she says, leaning against the couch, into his arm. "I guess... I'd be okay with that too..."

[more_magic]

Darlington doesn't think he's ever heard her laugh quite like that. He hopes he'll hear it again, and soon. As often as he can. It pulls an answering laugh from his own lips, the sound lower, but just as pleased. "I try," he says as Alex leans against his arm, the press of her body setting another of those near-electric fizzes through him. "Suave and gentlemanly, in all situations."

It's not the time for those kinds of dismissals and deflections, and both of them know it. She's so close, it's easy for him to reach forward, hand beneath her chin to tilt her face up just a little more. He smiles again, that soft and quiet one from before, then touches his lips to hers.

[takecourage]

She should have known that he'd kiss like that - smooth, gentle, practised. Like something from one of the old Hollywood movies that her mom loves. In that moment, all that Alex can think about is all of the kisses that bruised.

She makes a soft, barely there sound against his lips.

[more_magic]

Now that it's happened--happening, even--Darlington's aware of how hard he'd tried not to want exactly this, to brush it aside in the name of being nothing more than her Virgil. But he's always wanted to be more, always wanted to be everything to her, anything she needs.

That soft little noise she makes sinks right through him, dizzying for a second, and he turns the hand at her chin just enough to graze his thumb against the line of her jaw before he pulls away. His mouth opens, but there's nothing he can think to say. He just breathes, slow and regular, his eyes on hers.

[takecourage]

She can't help but think of Halloween then, how he'd looked on his knees, pupils blown, lips parted, on the edge of ecstasy and all for her. This isn't that, she knows that, but there's an echo of it, in the look in his eyes. It's all that she can do not to just throw herself at him there and then.

"Uh..." She says. Yeah, Alex. Super eloquent. Well done. "That was definitely okay."

[more_magic]

"A verdict I can agree with," he says, even though all he wants to do is kiss her again. As many times as she wants him to, and as long as he can. He moves, but it's just a slight shift in position that keeps him close to her on the couch. "Not what I expected from the evening, but definitely okay. More than that."

[takecourage]

She finds that her palms are all but itching with the desire to touch him so she does - just reaches out and brushes her fingers along his forearm, up to his shoulder. She wants to catalogue him, spend hours poring over the tiniest details. Committing him to memory.

"As long as we're both okay, I guess."

[more_magic]

She touches him, that slide of her fingers up his arm, over the cotton of his t-shirt, and he's so aware of the response of his body that it's nearly painful. He turns his head, brushing a kiss to the top of her hand once it's resting on his shoulder.

"We're both okay, we both..." He stops, looking at her again. Making sure. "We both want this."

[takecourage]

Her breath shivers at the brush of her lips against the back of her hand. She can't help but imagine what it would feel like brushing against other parts of her body.

"We both want this," she echoes. "I don't know how long I've wanted this."

[more_magic]

That sigh of her breath, the sound of it, is more beautiful than anything he's ever heard--right up until she speaks again. Darlington has the sense that'll keep happening, however long they do this; one breathtaking moment supplanted by the next, and the next, and the next. He wants it all, every minute she chooses to give him and every minute they get to have here.

"What, uh," he says, smiling again at the awkward, ineloquent hesitancy there. "What else do you want?" It sounds like a line, and perhaps from the kind of man she'd known before or the types of boys that had filled the privileged halls of Yale, it would have been. But from Darlington, all it is is another careful, honest question.

[takecourage]

Alex thinks about that for a moment, really gives it the thought that it deserves, her thumb stroking gently against the side of his neck.

"What we started that Halloween?" She says, flushing a bit at the thought. "That night at Manuscript."

[more_magic]

Her blush brings on a resurgence of his own. "I remember." In the guilt and confusion that had followed, his sense of a boundary crossed and the sudden shock of finding himself someplace else entirely, he'd tried to push it all aside. Not to forget, because he doesn't think he ever could, but to keep it back.

Manuscript had taken that desire, warped it and toyed with it for their own perverse entertainment, but they hadn't created it. It had been there already, whether he'd chosen to acknowledge it or not.

"That night was...I wanted you to choose me," he says, admits to. He can feel every sweep of her thumb, the slow trace of it against his skin. He's not as instantly hard as he was that night, but oh, he's getting there. "To be yours, to...it wasn't the mist. Or not entirely. It was just me."

[takecourage]

Nobody's ever said anything like that to her before and Alex can't tell if it's the wine or him that's making her dizzy. She can full his pulse thumping against the brush of her thumb.

"I just didn't want you to be humiliated," she says. "But I did almost wish you'd fucked me that night."

He'll probably scold her for vulgarity, but that's the truth.

[more_magic]

"Language, Stern," he says, his disapproval only a brief murmur. Vulgarity, like declarations of love, he thinks, and somehow he hadn't ever imagined they might be one and the same.

Or could be, in time.

"The circumstances weren't ideal," he says, an understatement if he's ever heard one. "And I wouldn't have wanted to, when I wasn't...when it wasn't a clearheaded choice." He's not clearheaded now either, the rush of the wine still present in his system, but this time it's in a way he's decided on. He's okay with that.

[takecourage]

"I know that," she says, still storming the side of his neck. "But that didn't stop me wanting it, Darlington. I wanted it then." She swallows. "I...want to now. All of it."