(no subject)

[takecourage]

Mostly, what she does is stare. She holds Edie in her arms and she feeds her or she sleeps and she just...stares at her. Mostly, she's trying to figure out how something so utterly perfect can have come from her. Danny, she can believe it of, but her? What she do to deserve something like this. A few days after Edie is born, Alex lets Danny start texting people, letting them know that they can come and visit, if they want to. She installs herself in the sunroom with Edie wrapped in a blanket in her arms and she rocks, slowly, and she feels, for the first time in her life, like she's something entirely new.

Comments

[greatamazingfeelingsboy]

"You don't have to," he assures. "You just have to stop thinking you're somehow... undeserving of it." He looks down at Edie again, then at Alex. "You guys just made this whole, beautiful person together. Doesn't that count for something?"

[takecourage]

"I can't just unlearn it all, Caleb," she says, softly. "I'm working on it, but...I was a disaster for so long. It's taking a while to figure out whether I can be someone else."

[greatamazingfeelingsboy]

"I'm not saying you have to," he says, a little gentler, now. "At least, not all at once and not right away. Eventually, I think it'll happen, though. If you just trust you and trust him." He looks down at Edie again, smiling. "And this little one."

[takecourage]

"Not historically very good at that," says Alex, because when has she ever known how to trust herself or anyone else? But the little girl in her arms is brand new, gorgeously so, and, suddenly, Alex feels like maybe she has it in her to believe in fresh starts.