(no subject)

[takecourage]

Mostly, what she does is stare. She holds Edie in her arms and she feeds her or she sleeps and she just...stares at her. Mostly, she's trying to figure out how something so utterly perfect can have come from her. Danny, she can believe it of, but her? What she do to deserve something like this. A few days after Edie is born, Alex lets Danny start texting people, letting them know that they can come and visit, if they want to. She installs herself in the sunroom with Edie wrapped in a blanket in her arms and she rocks, slowly, and she feels, for the first time in her life, like she's something entirely new.

Comments

[something_incredible]

"Kinda think that's the point of a baby, isn't it? Give 'em a bunch of stuff they don't even understand." Hopper comes closer, sets the bag down where Alex can reach it when she wants to unwrap it, then leans closer.

"Shit," he says in a soft voice. "She's so damn small."

[takecourage]

"She's not as fragile as she looks," says Alex, shifting to the edge of her chair. "Come on, dude. If I can do it, you can." She gestures. "Get comfortable and I'll hand her over, okay?"

[takecourage]

"Yeah, well, she hurt like a bitch coming out so I'm glad she's not any bigger," says Alex, with a rueful smile. "Edith Estrella Stern, meet Jim Hopper. Hop, meet Edie."

[greatamazingfeelingsboy]

He settles into his seat a little and bites his lip, obviously nervous and trying hard not to be.

"How do I hold her?" he asks. He has younger cousins, but he's never held a whole baby before. Or, if he did, it was when Alice was born, and she's only two years younger than him.

For a moment, he finds himself caught up on that. She's now as old as he was when he first got to Darrow. That's fucking weird.

[takecourage]

"Bend your arm, so that you can support her head with your elbow," she says, shifting so that she can lean closer. "Put your other hand underneath her." Gently, she transfers Edie into her arms. "Just hold her like you're not scared of her, and you'll be okay."

[something_incredible]

"Yeah, that's what Diane said, too," Hopper answers, the words coming almost absently. He doesn't talk much about Diane and he talks even less about Sara.

"Hey, kid," he says down to the little girl in Alex's arms. "Can't believe you kicked your mom's ass like that on the way out. Aren't you little girls supposed to be sweet?"

[greatamazingfeelingsboy]

"Okay," he says, doing as she directs, until suddenly there's a baby in his arms. She wakes a little during the transfer, but doesn't fuss. Just looks up at him with those bleary baby eyes before settling back into her doze.

"Oh, wow," he whispers. He looks up at Alex with naked amazement on his face before staring down at Edie.

[more_magic]

"Not your whole life," he says, looking up at last, flashing her a quick, lopsided grin. "We'll get a reprieve sometime between her finally sleeping through the night and when she's mobile enough to come running into our room at one a.m. because she had a nightmare."

Darlington walks slowly from the center of the sunroom to the windows and back again, easy and meandering, letting Edie rest in his arms. "And I can take on more of the nighttime feedings and changes. Trying to split it evenly was maybe too ambitious."

[takecourage]

"Where would she have got sweet from, Hop?" says Alex, smiling, stroking her hand over the downy top of Edie's head. "Maybe from her daddy, but her mom's a stone cold snake."

[takecourage]

"Yeah, she's pretty good, isn't she?" says Alex, settling back into her chair and reaching for a cup of tea that's been cooling for a while. "I keep walking in on Danny holding her and crying."

[takecourage]

She laughs at that, taking a sip of her coffee and then transferring the plate of breakfest into her lap, watching as he walks to and fro with the baby in his arms. "Since she's okay with taking a bottle, yeah, we could definitely do that."

[greatamazingfeelingsboy]

"God, I feel like I'm gonna cry," he admits with a hushed laugh. He reaches with one finger, just lightly brushing the pad against her soft, pudgy cheek. He looks up at Alex again. "How'd you get to 'Edie'?" he asks.

[takecourage]

"Edith was Danny's favourite grandmother," says Alex, an uncharacteristically soft smile on her face. "Her full name is Edith Estrea Arlington-Stern. Edie seems like less of a mouthful."

[something_incredible]

"Maybe she'll get lucky and won't have your shitty attitude," Hopper jokes, knowing Alex won't take offense to it. Knowing he doesn't think she has a shitty attitude at all, knowing he actually kind of loves her, thinks of her as his own kid in a lot of ways.

"How're you feeling?" he asks as he sits beside Alex, careful not to jostle anyone.

[greatamazingfeelingsboy]

"It's definitely less of a mouthful," he agrees, "but... the long one's still good. Weirdly kind of fitting, I think." He looks down at the baby again. "Are you gonna hyphenate her last name like that? Like, on paper?"

[takecourage]

"From your lips to God's ears," says Alex, smirking when she says it. "I'm sure Danny would be grateful, anyway. She shifts when he lowers himself onto the sofa beside them. "Sore? But I'm taking something for it. Magnus hooked me up before he left, so I'm not breaking any rules. Tired, but Danny is helping out tonnes." She looks down at the little bundle in her arms. "Better than I thought I would. I thought I'd be terrified the whole time, but now she's here? We're just sort of figuring it out."

[takecourage]

"Yeah, I think so," says Alex, settling into the corner of the couch. "We're not married, so it seems like the best possible option right now."

[more_magic]

Darlington nods, still walking, the planks of the sunroom's wood floor creaking under his feet every so often. He watches Alex eat, watches Edie sleep, looks out at Black Elm's gardens when he gets closer to the window. "It's still hard to believe she's here," he says, shifting Edie in his arms so he can run a fingertip gently over her cheek. "That she's ours."

[takecourage]

"Hard to feel like we fucked up in the face of evidence like this, isn't it?" says Alex before she takes a bite of her toast. "She's beautiful. You make good babies, Daniel."

[greatamazingfeelingsboy]

"Are you gonna?" he asks. "Get married, I mean. Not that you have to, like... people can live together and be in love and not get married." He sort of rushes that out, so he doesn't make Alex think he's judging her, or something. "Like, marriage doesn't make a family. I was just wondering." In his arms, Edie starts to stir a little, and he winces and presses a gentle kiss to her forehead.

[something_incredible]

"Yeah, that's pretty much how it goes," Hopper agrees. He remembers those first few days after Diane and Sara had come home, how all the fear he'd been carrying seemed to dissipate and instead he had just done what needed to be done. He'd gotten up in the night to get the baby, bringing her to Diane or feeding her from a bottle himself. He'd fetched things for his wife when she'd still felt too sore to move around much.

They'd figured it out. Mostly everyone does.

[takecourage]

"I've totally told you before," says Alex, sipping her tea, lifting her legs to curl them up underneath her as she watches him hold her baby, her heart full, somehow. Being around Caleb has always felt kind of like having a brother. "Boys like him don't end up married to girls like me," she says. "Not even when they knock them up."

[takecourage]

"I didn't..." She frowns, thinking through what she's about to say. "I didn't expect to love her this much," she says. "And then they gave her to me, and it just...felt like the most natural thing in the world. Like it all just clicked into place."

[greatamazingfeelingsboy]

Caleb rolls his eyes. "You need to stop with the classist bull," he says. "People get married for lots of reasons, and you two love each other so much that being in the room with both of you at the same time literally almost breaks my superpower." He isn't entirely kidding, either. He feels especially doe-eyed and soft inside when they're both too near, and it's always aimed at both of them, even if he's gotten a lot better at controlling how much he feels.

[something_incredible]

Hopper nods, unable to say anything at first. He and Diane had wanted Sara, had spent the entire pregnancy waiting for her, wishing for her, and even still, the first time he'd held his daughter in his arms, the feeling he'd had was bigger than just love.

Even now, he doesn't think he can explain it.

"Yeah," he says after a moment, then clears his throat. "I get that."