Darlington lets out a heavy breath, setting the roller back into the tray and staring at it for a long moment, letting the knife blades of Alex's words sink in. He deserves them, he knows he does, but the accuracy of the argument does nothing to minimize its sting. Slowly, he turns back towards Alex and steps closer, moving to sit on the floor just across from her. He doesn't move to take her hands, not yet, though an ache settles in his chest with wanting to.

"I know," he says. "I know you want that, I know....I know you think that's not enough for me, and right now I can't tell you it is and have you believe me. Possibly I never can. I do want the answers, and I want them for myself, and for you, and for our kid. I've wanted there to be more to the world since I was eleven years old, Alex, and when I found out at seventeen that there was...it unlocked everything. I can't turn away from it."